Unapologetically Me

It's been a while

2006-02-07T20:41:00.000-06:00

Well... once again it's been awhile. Several months in fact, months in which I have grown up significantly, enough so that I know I have a lot more growing up to do. What's to say, I counselled at camp this summer and God revealed himself to me quite a bit in different ways. And in the end God did provide, I was able to both afford tuition and books for university. I started University in the fall in Brandon, and I'm now in my second semester of university. As far as grades go, it's going pretty well. The university is a pretty big school, and coming from a small town I don't really know anyone, also because I live at home and travel into the university to classes, I have a hard time meeting new people. So, for a very talkative, people person it's been extremely difficult. I've been helping the university's cheerleading squad out, so I've been meeting people throught that. But, it's been even more difficult because at school I have next to no Christian friends and therefore have no one I can identify in that way at school. Anyways it's just been a difficult time, but I've come to understand that during this all I just need to rely on God, "Draw close to him and he will draw close to you." I have an interview on Thursday for a job that I'm praying I get because it pays really well, and if I get it I can probably go to camp for half the summer if not all of the summer, which will be really awesome. Anyways I have a midterm tomorrow so I should probably sign off. Good night and God Bless.

The Begining

2005-07-09T18:00:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone

I thought that I would write to update you all on what's been happening lately. This week was the first week of camp. It was a pretty amazing week, God definetly worked in some amazing ways. I'm a senior counsellor at TMBC this summer and this week was Junior High, so campers were around 12 to 14 years old. I definetly felt out of sync at the beginning of the week, it was a little odd being back at camp and it was a shorter week so it seemed like there was just never enough time. This week there were two boys at camp they were brothers and both came from a some what abusive home life, they just didn't have a great homelife. They didn't know God, didn't want to know him at the beginning of the week, they didn't know what love was all they knew was anger and hurt. Well, the boys didn't make a lot of friends at camp and they were always fighting with each other. The oldest would climb trees when he was feeling upset... Both boys became Christians this week and their attitudes and the way they act did a complete 360. By the last night of camp, these two boys we're wrapping their arms around other campers who where crying in chapel and were praying for them. God works in amazing ways!

These week we had a terrible storm Thursday night, the power was out and the lighting and wind was so bad that we had to keep the campers in the main building they weren't even allowed to go back to their campers, the speaker showed a slide show that night in chapel about what Jesus did for us, showed pictures of him on the cross, we had so many campers praying and coming to know Jesus as their savior for the first time or rededicating their lives to Christ it was so amazing to be a part of. Then the storm became really bad and a couple of counsellors my self included started singing and playing slower worship songs and than by the end, everyone was just giving praise to God and lifting their hearts up in worship. God was moving amongst us that night.

The last night of camp was another powerful night of worship. Our speaker for the week, Jeremy gave his last real indepth talk to the campers, encouraging them to open up the doors of their hearts, to let God in. Again we had many new campers come to Christ and others rededicate their lives as well as this was when I witnessed the two boys I told you about earlier begin to minister to the campers around them. It moved me to tears, to watch those boys, to know what they faced when they went home, but to see them genuinely care about those around them and being only new christians themselves, speaking up and saying I want to pray for you, and their prayers, would make even the hardest heart break.

Well, that was my week, I feel so privledged to be able to be a part of the work that God is seeing done hear at Turtle. I truely am blessed. There were days when I felt so discouraged, but God always saw me through. He took the hardest hearts at camp this week and he worked in them and now those hearts are serving him joyfully. Anyways, that's all I'm going to say. Please keep me in your prayers, this week coming up I have a couple of campers who barely speak english, so that will be a learning experience. Also if you have some time drop me a letter.

Heather Findlay
C/O TMBC
Box 1198
Boissevain, MB
R0K 0E0

It Just Keeps Going and Going.....

2005-06-17T20:55:00.000-05:00

Okay so I'm not done yet, I'm like the energizer bunny... it just keeps going and going.
But I have something else that I want you all to know about. My friend Ty, has written a book and it's a really great little book! You guys have got to go out and buy it, read it and enjoy it. Honestly, I'm not just saying this because he is my friend, and he didn't put me up to it, IT IS a great book and you won't be sorry for reading it. So check out my link on the side A MUST HAVE to go to his book's site.
K, I really am done now, well you did ask for it by telling me I had to update. LOL.

What's in a Name?

2005-06-17T19:44:00.000-05:00

So it's been brought to my attention that I haven't updated in a while. So I'm here sitting at my computer, listening to Nicole C. Mullen trying to think of something blogworthy. Well lets catch you up on the life of Heather. Since last updating I turned 18 and had a great birthday with some friends, it was a blast! Today was officially my last day of school, I wrote my final exam, it was chemistry with Mr. Bertram, I left the last 4 pages pretty much blank but hey at least I went and answered the first 26. So I'm done highschool, I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to feel about that. The last month or so of school I have just been so weary so tired of it all, I'm just glad to have it all done with. I look back and it's so weird, if you had asked my 3 years ago what it would be like to finally be done highschool I would never have predicted how I feel now or the things that have happened throughout the years. Like I have 3 different friends engaged to be married, 2 of which who are being married this summer. Another who has a 2 month old baby. Craziness is all I can say. Anyways, I am going to a wedding tomorrow, a grad church service on Sunday and then Turtle Mountain on Monday. Everything's so busy I wish it would all just slow down. I'm then coming home From Camp on Thursday, Grand March and Prom is on that Saturday, Oak Lake Grad Supper on Monday, Grad Ceremonies on Tuesday followed by dry grad. Then that Thursday to Saturday I'm at staff training and camp starts that Monday. Well that was a lot of info packed in there. I was waiting until I had something profound or of greater interest before I blogged. Oh well, next time. I was going through my school stuff today, basically throwing stuff away and I came across this book that I had to write about myself. So for lack of better things to write, I'm going to end with a little bit from it so that those of you who don't know me that well can get to know me better. (I'm skipping over the prologue)

I am so grateful that my mother had the sense when I was born not to allow my Dad to name me. I was born 9 years after my closest sibling, my sister Cindy. My parents made a deal with my siblings that if I was a boy, they could name me. My brothers wanted me to be a boy because they wanted to teach me to play hockey and football and use me as a goalie for street hockey, which to them girls couldn't do. My sisters wanted me to be a boy simply because they would get to name me. However, my mother knew that I was going to be a girl because my mom being older when she had me, and they had to make sure I was going to be okay and so had testing done. So really when my parents made this deal, there was no chance of my siblings naming me, which was probably a good thing.

So my parents were the ones to name me. Now as to why I should be grateful that my mother didn't allow my father to name me... My dad was from Wales originally and he loves where he was from; Wales, Scottland, Ireland, all those little countries around there. Anyways, as being proud of where he was from he decided he wanted to give me a traditional Welsh name.

Choice #1 Bronwyn. Now I'm not puttin you down if this happens to be your name by any chance. But to tell you the truth I can't see myself as a Bronwyn. Can you imagine being called Winnie by your friends? All the Winnie the Pooh jokes just make me shudder to think about. No I'm very glad that I'm not called Bronwyn.

Choice #2 Wilomenia. Once again please don't take offense if this happens to be your name, I'm sure you're really a great person. But can you imagine a Canadian somewhat farm girl being called Wilomenia? Honestly, the thought just makes me cringe. Where did my father come up with this? Did he want to me to be mocked and teased as I grew up? Even if my friends didn't I can only imagine what my brothers and sisters would say. They had normal, solid names like Jason, Stephen, Laura and Cindy. No way to make fun of those names!

Anyways just as I began to give up hope my mom put her foot down and told him that their daughter was not going to have a name like that. So on to the next choice.

Choice #3 Heather. Ahh... I can live with this. My dad likes it as it's the name of an Irish flower. I like it because it's me. I guess I say that now because I've had the name for 18 years, and I've made it my own. I can live with being called Hez or Heath. Not a problem with those nicknames. All though I was teased as a child, through my own fault I should say.

They say you can tell alot about what type of person a child will be by what their first words were. A stubourn child will say NO! A secure child will say Mommy or Daddy, etc. My first word was Heather. So I was a little stuck up and egotistical. What do you expect when you have at least 6 people dotting on you? Not only was my first word Heather, but my next too were Findlay Margaret. So I'd go around and when people talked to me I'd respond, "Heather Findlay Margaret!" and yes in that order.

Well I also had a speech impediment when I was little, so when I said Heather I'd say it with a v so it sounded like Heifer, you know like the female cow and Findlay without the d. So as you can probably imagine I sounded a little funny when I talked, like most children who are just starting to talk.

Pronouncing my name Heifer, wasn't the smoothest thing I did in my life in fact, I often regretted it growing up. Why you may ask? I had 4 older siblings what's more to say? They taunted me, and they had to say it in front of company and friends so it wasn't even a private joke anymore. Stephen said it in front of Kyle Schwindt once, who yes indeed got a kick out of it. Kyle being closer to me in age than Stephen, was still in the same school as I was when I was in Grade two. Kyle just happened to call me that in front of some guys in the class ahead of me. These boys shall remain nameless, but boy did they call me Heifer every chance they had. They eventually grew up somewhat and now they no longer call me this.

So as to what's in a name? Not too much. As the sonnet goes a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But a bad name or nickname can sure cause you a lot of unneccessary pain, especially where juvenile boys are concerned.

- Man, I don't know where to stop do I? LOL, I am like way sorry you guys for being so talkative and typing so much. I'll quite now I promise. God Bless!

Like a Little Kid at Christmas

2005-04-30T13:15:00.000-05:00

Oh my Gosh! I am so like a little kid at Christmas, I like can't wait. I'm going to Turtle this summer to counsel at camp. Scary thought eh, me a Sr. Camp Counsellor, be afraid be very afraid. Just joking, it's going to be so awesome!! If you could see me right now you'd be shaking your head, I'm like bouncing with excitment. Only 51 days till my first day at camp.
TMBC has meant so much to me over the years, it's where I first came to know Jesus Christ as my saviour really, and for many years it was my only nourishment for my Christian walk. It's just so much of a blessing to be able to have the opportunity to go to camp now and to be used by God to reach out to these kids, so that they might come to know him and grow in their faith.
I've counselled before at Turtle and I had a blast, oh the stories I could tell. Let's just say that James if you happen to come speak at camp this summer again I will get you back, the water fight is on! (Revenge will be so sweet!)
I was a little bit worried about the money issue with going to counsel at camp. I can't really afford it because I really need to be making some serious money for university next year. But I'm just going to trust that God will work that all out. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by power and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." - Philippians 4:6
And my dad told me that it isn't everyday that you find something that you absolutely love and therefore I should do it and we'll work out tuition when we need to.
Suffice is to say that I am like a really big kid at heart, and I am so excited! This year's theme at camp is Hands and Feet and I love it! This is a theme that I can seriously work with in my cabin devos. So for those of you who read this, if you would like to pray for camp and the staff there, that would be so great!
Anways, gotta go work (yuck). You know you need to quit work when you detest going and you're counting the days till you quit. (36 days) I've worked there way too long, waitressing for 3 years is way too long for anyone.
P.S. Yes indeed, I so do babble

Dang I'm So Frustrated

2005-04-24T13:35:00.000-05:00

Hmmm... well as you can probably tell my blogs are going to be sparse as I have not too much to say that would interest you. Not too much happens to me, well I may be the klutziest person ever and make you wonder how a person could manage to do some of the things that I do, you really don't want to hear about it.

So yesterday I went to Brandon with Joc, where we worked at Street Love for a couple hours. A great shelter where if you ever have some free time in Brandon they can use lots of help. So Joc and I were driving to Brandon and there's something you should know about Joc if you should happen to be driving with her, she loves old weird music like Ace of Base or the Mamas and the Papas. I also enjoy them so we were having a good time singing along to the music and talking. So sad Joc is going to school in Ontario next year and there will be less frequent good times in Brandon together. Anyways after working at the shelter we went to the mall for food. I helped a skater get his pants unstuck from his bike chain (long story) and we hung out with Raema (I wonder if that's how you spell his name). If there's one thing that's more frustrating then hanging out with a guy who you haven't seen in a long time and who is distracted it's hanging out with Raema at the mall when he has his cell phone on. Raema is an incredibly popular guy, we'd be eating or walking and every two sec. someone he knew would walk up to him and start talking or he would get a phone call.

But that's not why I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated because I got a new CD yesterday. Stellar Kart is a really awesome band. They sing this amazing worship song called A Love Song. A really good song that Carly, Mando and I could sing together, so for the last 2 hours I've been searching for the guitar tabs for the song. I haven't found them yet. I know I could figure them out myself, but I have a terrible ear for that stuff, if it was on piano maybe I could do it but not guitar, I'm not that good. So if anyone who reads this knows the tabs, yeah I'd really like them.

Anyways these are some lyrics for the song. I really love it

Love Song

You are Lord, Lord of my life

Every day I lift you up high

I praise you Lord

My God and my King

You reign in me for Eternity

This is a love song to You

A song of praise to you Lord

I kneel before your Glorious Throne

To show that I am yours Alone

Hallelujah, I love you

*mini rant: what's up with CD's today having less and less songs on them. They used to have like 14 songs now they have 10 if your lucky. If I pay $25.00 for a CD it had better have more than 10 songs! But then maybe I'm cheap. Anyways it's no wonder why people burn music instead of buying the CD.

The Mercy of Acceptance

2005-04-04T18:06:00.000-05:00

So I was reading this morning and came across this topic and thought of how well it fit into what some of my friends were posting in their blogs this weekend. This is from the book Streams of Mercy by Mark Rutland. A very wise man is all I can say. Since it fit in so well and because it really struck a chord with me I thought I'd post this. Sorry in advance if I get carried away and post more of it than I intended it's good stuff.

We humans long to belong. Like the fear of falling, the terror of being ostracized is in us from the beginning. Just imagine five fifth-grade boys forming a club with their own secret handshakes and codebook. At recess, let them meet in some secluded corner of the playground for their clandestine rendezvous, and watch the social contortions other boys are willing to endure just to be in the club.
Outsiders approach tentatively, pretending disinterest, hoping to ease the pain of their probable rejection. If the club were about acceptance, there would be no fear. But they know it's not. They know the club is about exclusivism, not about helping the fat or bespectacled or clumsy kids feel good about themselves. The club is not for them. It is for the inner circle, for reminding themselves that they are the chosen, select, elite who can see the others for the undesirables they really are.
The merciful answer of a merciful God rings sweet and pure from heaven for all the fat kids, and the nerdy ones, and the ugly ones and - wonderfully enough - even for the insiders in the club, if they will hear it. Our acceptance - full, final and perfect- is in Christ and him alone.
"Accepting Christ" is not the hope of humanity. Our blessed hope is that in Christ, God accepts us. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath... made us accepted in the Beloved" (Eph. 1:3, 6).
All our insecurities and fears about being found less than acceptable are swallowed up by him! Who dares to reject - who has the power to reject - one who has been accepted by the true and living God? To all the deserted children and abandoned wives and cuckolded husbands, to the outsiders and the weak, the acceptance of God is merciful indeed.
On the other hand, God's merciful acceptance is what makes Christianity such a hard sell among the upper crust. Jesus certainly discovered this. In Mark 12:37 we read, "The common people heard him gladly" Why? Painfully aware of their own commonness, they gladly welcomed a merciful and accepting Savior who was willing to eat dinner with the riffraff. But it did nothing to endear Jesus to the Pharisees. The faith that welcomes lepers and outcasts holds faint allure for maharajahs and magnates. The message of acceptance beckons only the bedraggled, who know they need it. Elitism appeals, not to our need for mercy, but to that old sinful longing for the schoolyard "club."
The church must decide what it is about. Is it the merciful gathering of the lane and halt who need the acceptance of God? Or will it be the opera of the elite, where only the very best performers sing and dance for an audience that is worthy of them? That is a merciless picture, because in such a church I would live in cruel fear that my true condition might somehow be discovered. My spiritual energies would be expanded not in struggling to be open and honest - God forbid! - but in a desperate fight to keep the mask in place.

OK so there's tons more on this topic. It goes on to say that as christians we fear being mocked by christians the most, the "insiders." We hope to keep a mask on and continue to check it, even though deep down we know that someone's going to find out we're not perfect. So why do we bother to playact? Why because we're not sure that we belong there? We say the right spiritual lines on cue and weep when we sing? When did it all become a hoax to impress the christian beside us? When did it stop being about and for God and become a way to impress others? The line that Rutland say's that really strikes me is this "churches... lack mercy in their incessant demand for perfection. Not so sure? Just show up on Sunday morning in the wrong costume or say your lines with too much passion or kick too high in the chorus line. If everybody in the church is playing the part of perfect christian, I must put on my costume and say the lines or perish. There is no room for weakness and no tolerance for ugly warts popping up through the makeup." also he says this "If I hope to find confidence and a sense of belonging in what I do, in how I perform, I am doomed to the joyless insecurity of fear. I cannot succeed enough." I'm going to quote this next bit straight from him so here goes

All too often we want the church to do the wrong this for us. When we turn our lonely, baleful eyes on each other and plead for affirmation and reinforcement in a religious community, belonging to one another takes precedence over belonging to God. The guys at Temple Beth Pharisee handed out look-alike robes and tassels and all learned the same prayers, even devoted themselves to the secret rule book. The problem was that Rule One was to love God more than the rules, more than the tassels and even more being seated with the other elders who obeyed the rules.
Jesus preached that it was possible to find acceptance with God and never be in good standing with the Elders Club. He reduced the rule book to rule one and informed the half-castes, outcasts, Samaritans and sinners that their heavenly God wanted to be their heavenly Father. That is what got him killed. Mercy, it appears, is also pretty thin among Pharisees.
Jesus was not crucified because he raised the dead and healed the sick. he was not slain because he claimed to be the Son of God, though that was closer to the issue. What got Jesus killed was being the Son of God, proving it with power and then inviting others into the family without requiring them to join the Club first.
"Other sheep I have, that are not of this fold," he said in John 10:16, 17. "Them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd. Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life."
... All members in good standing were furious, but the disenfranchised, the hookers, and bartenders knew mercy when they heard it. They still do. But what is wonderful news to the outsiders sounds pretty unsettling to the club officiers.
The message of the gospel, in modern evangelical circles, has become limitted to the good news of forgiveness and heaven. Well, isn't that enough? It is wonderful, and if it were all God offered, it would still be amazing graciousness. But it isn't all God offers. What God offers is the mercy of adoption, full membership into his family, not his fan club. The good news is not just a God who forgives but a Father who receives.
... The fatherhood of God is the antidote for the poison of performance. His love casts out all my fear of failure. The dread of disappointing him is swallowed not in my resolve to do better next year but in a relationship so secure that it cannot be broken when I forget my lines.

so that's all i'm going to quote and yes I did go a bit farther than I meant to. But I believe it's self explanatory and so worth hearing. As a christian I must pose the question as to what happened to our mercy? God shows it to us everyday and yet we fail to show our mercy to others. When did it become about appearances and playacting instead of reaching out to people who are in need. People who need to discover God's mercy. When did we decide we have the power to reject who God already accepted?

Anyways, that's all I have to say. So God Bless and Remember Jesus Loves You

Remember what God has Already Done

2005-02-13T13:30:00.000-06:00

So this is my first blog, so I don't really know what to share. We'll this has really been on my mind lately so here goes. I went to Brandon with my friend, Carly(http://alienyouth4jesus.blogspot.com) on Friday, we had an awesome time hanging out and fellowshiping together and this is what we talked about on the way in. Part of this was taken from an e-mail i received a while back and the other part from The Purpose Driven Life. Ok so here goes...

The events leading up to a crucifixion: - Prior to the actually crucifixion it was customary for the recipient to receive a Roman flogging. These were known to be terribly brutal. They usually consisted of thirty-nine lashes but we frequently more than that. The soldier would use a whip of braided leather thongs with metal balls woven into them. When the whip would strike the flesh, these balls would cause deep bruises or contusions, which would break open with further blows. Also, the whip had pieces of sharp bone as well, which would cut the flesh severely. The back would be so shredded that part of the spine was actually exposed by the cuts. The whipping would have exposed bone and nerves from the shoulders down to the back, the buttocks, and the back of the legs. The lacerations would tear into the underlying skeletal muscles and produce quivering ribbons of bleeding flesh. The sufferer's veins were laid bare, and the very muscles, sinews, and bowels of the victim were open to exposure.

Many people died from this beating BEFORE they were crucified! And if not, it is almost certain that they would be experiencing tremendous pain and go into hypovolemic shock. Hypovolemic shock means the person is suffering the effects of losing a large amount of blood. This means four things: the heart races to try and pump blood that isn't there, the blood pressure drops causing fainting or collapse, the kidneys stop producing urine, and fourth, the person becomes thirsty as the body craves fluids to replace the lost blood.

Can you even begin to imagine that pain? And this is BEFORE the actual crucifixion! Heading to the cross, Jesus was already in serious to critical condition.

- The cross. The victim is laid down, and his hands are nailed in an outstretched position to the horizontal beam. The Romans used spikes that were 5 to 7 inches long and tapered to a sharp point. They were driven through the wrists (in the language of the day, 'wrists' were considered a part of the 'hand'). The spikes would go through the place on the wrist where the median nerve runs. This is the largest nerve going out of the hand. This procedure would produce tremendous pain. You know the kind of pain you experience when you bang your elbow and hit your funny bone? That's actually another nerve called the ulna nerve. Picture taking a pair of pliers and squeezing and crushing that nerve. The effect would be similar to what Jesus experience with the nail in the wrist.

The pain was unbearable. In fact, the word excruciating means 'out of the cross.' At this point Jesus was hoisted as the cross bar was attached to the vertical stake, and then the nails were driven through Jesus' feet. Again, the nerves in his feet will have been crushed.

This type of torture put stress on the victims body. Jesus' arms would have been stretched, probably about six inches in length, and both shoulders would have become dislocated.

- The cause of death. Crucifixion is agonizingly slow death by asphyxiation. The stresses on the muscles and diaphragm put the chest into the inhaled position; basically in order to exhale the person must push up on his feet so the tension on the muscles would be eased for a moment. In doing so, the nail would tear throught the foot, by the way. After managing to exhale, the person would then be able to relax down and take another breath in. Again, he'd have to push himself up to exhale, scraping his bloodied back against the coarse wood of the cross. This would go on until complete exhaustion would take over, and the person would be unable to rise and exhale.
The events leading up to a crucifixion: - Prior to the actually crucifixion it was customary for the recipient to receive a Roman flogging. These were known to be terribly brutal. They usually consisted of thirty-nine lashes but we frequently more than that. The soldier would use a whip of braided leather thongs with metal balls woven into them. When the whip would strike the flesh, these balls would cause deep bruises or contusions, which would break open with further blows. Also, the whip had pieces of sharp bone as well, which would cut the flesh severely. The back would be so shredded that part of the spine was actually exposed by the cuts. The whipping would have exposed bone and nerves from the shoulders down to the back, the buttocks, and the back of the legs. The lacerations would tear into the underlying skeletal muscles and produce quivering ribbons of bleeding flesh. The sufferer's veins were laid bare, and the very muscles, sinews, and bowels of the victim were open to exposure. Many people died from this beating BEFORE they were crucified! And if not, it is almost certain that they would be experiencing tremendous pain and go into hypovolemic shock. Hypovolemic shock means the person is suffering the effects of losing a large amount of blood. This means four things: the heart races to try and pump blood that isn't there, the blood pressure drops causing fainting or collapse, the kidneys stop producing urine, and fourth, the person becomes thirsty as the body craves fluids to replace the lost blood. Can you even begin to imagine that pain? And this is BEFORE the actual crucifixion! Heading to the cross, Jesus was already in serious to critical condition. - The cross. The victim is laid down, and his hands are nailed in an outstretched position to the horizontal beam. The Romans used spikes that were 5 to 7 inches long and tapered to a sharp point. They were driven through the wrists (in the language of the day, 'wrists' were considered a part of the 'hand'). The spikes would go through the place on the wrist where the median nerve runs. This is the largest nerve going out of the hand. This procedure would produce tremendous pain. You know the kind of pain you experience when you bang your elbow and hit your funny bone? That's actually another nerve called the ulna nerve. Picture taking a pair of pliers and squeezing and crushing that nerve. The effect would be similar to what Jesus experience with the nail in the wrist. The pain was unbearable. In fact, the word excruciating means 'out of the cross.' At this point Jesus was hoisted as the cross bar was attached to the vertical stake, and then the nails were driven through Jesus' feet. Again, the nerves in his feet will have been crushed. This type of torture put stress on the victims body. Jesus' arms would have been stretched, probably about six inches in length, and both shoulders would have become dislocated. - The cause of death. Crucifixion is agonizingly slow death by asphyxiation. The stresses on the muscles and diaphragm put the chest into the inhaled position; basically in order to exhale the person must push up on his feet so the tension on the muscles would be eased for a moment. In doing so, the nail would tear throught the foot, by the way. After managing to exhale, the person would then be able to relax down and take another breath in. Again, he'd have to push himself up to exhale, scraping his bloodied back against the coarse wood of the cross. This would go on until complete exhaustion would take over, and the person would be unable to rise and exhale.

"If God never did anything else for you, he would still deserve your continual praise for the rest of your life because of what Jesus did for you on the cross. God's son died for you! This is the greatest reason for worship.
Unfortunately, we forget the cruel details of the agonizing sacrifice God made on our behalf. Familiarity breeds complacency. Even before his crucifixion, the Son of God was stripped naked beaten until almost unrecognizable, whipped, scorned and mocked, crowned with thorns, and spit on contempuously.
Then, nearly unconcious from blood loss, he was forced to drag a cumbersome cross up a hill, was nailed ot it, was was left to die the slow, excruciating torture of death by crucifixtion. While his lifeblood drained out, hecklers stood by and shouted insults, making fun of his pain and challenging his claim to be God.
Next, as Jesus took all of mankind's sin and guilt on himself, God looked away from that ugly sight, and Jesus cried out in total desperation, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Jesus could have saved himself - but the he could not have saved you.
Words cannot describe the darkness of that moment. Why did God allow and endure such ghastly, evil mistreatment? Why? So you could be spared from eternity in hell, and so you could sharein his glory forever! The Bible says, "Christ was without sin, but for our sake God made him share our sin in order that in union with him we might share the righteousness of God."2 Cor. 5:21
Jesus gave up everything so you could have everything. He died so you could live forever. That alone is worthy of your continual thanks and praise. Never again should you wonder what you have to be thankful for."

How many times have I selfishly asked God for more, or why, or why not. For example, why am I the only Christian living for God in my whole entire family, including my extended family, Why? You would think he could have given me someone, even a distant cousin, but no. But God has done so much for me already, I have no reason to complain, or ask for more. He sent his son to die on the Cross for me, and he never gives more than I can handle, and he's always with me. He called me to believe in him, when none of my family believes in the truth. For that I'll always be thankful. I'll always pray for my family to come to him, and I'll be incredibly sad if they die not believing, but I'll still be thankful, because Jesus was perfect, he was without sin, he could have snapped his fingers at any time and come down off of that cross, but he didn't because he was obediant to his father up in heaven, and he loved us. He loved us so much that he gave us his reward and he gave us the choice to come to him, fully knowing that people were going to reject what he did and block him out of their lives. I can't even begin to comprehend that kind of love. I have such a bad attitude some times, where I can't understand why God does the things he does or I want something, etc. etc. And then something like reading the things above or watching the Passion just gives me a reality check. It truely his funny how reading about Jesus dieing on the cross in the bible has become like nothing to us and then yet when we watch The passion or read what the crucifixtion was really like we see the harsh, brutal reality of what he did. It's uncomprehendable to me that he would waste his time on a selfish person like me, but he doesn't give up on me, he keeps drawing me back and for that I'll always be thankful.